Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
