i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
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Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
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Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties