Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before

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(313): View more from Michigan

That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.

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(206): View more from Washington

imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.

(206): View more from Washington

Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(818): View more from California

Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.

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(716): View more from New York

lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties

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