Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.

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  (805): My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping. http://tfl.nu/dvm6
  Replies (10) Good night (780) Bad night (931)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors

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  (973): He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors http://tfl.nu/k8g7
  Replies (8) Good night (5481) Bad night (1904)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind

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  (803): I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind http://tfl.nu/dnl0
  Replies (11) Good night (3721) Bad night (800)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.

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  (972): My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B. http://tfl.nu/k9ee
  Replies (10) Good night (1054) Bad night (3456)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.

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  (713): The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever. http://tfl.nu/rdxs
  Replies (2) Good night (1420) Bad night (541)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.

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  (312): That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison. http://tfl.nu/qs9j
  Replies (22) Good night (1493) Bad night (741)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!

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  (571): Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?! http://tfl.nu/2zl4
  Replies (5) Good night (1767) Bad night (549)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,

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  (302): Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers, http://tfl.nu/ct0l
  Replies (2) Good night (468) Bad night (909)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious

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  (360): Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious http://tfl.nu/bk41
  Replies (2) Good night (1110) Bad night (540)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.

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  (337): When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day. http://tfl.nu/007t
  Replies (1) Good night (473) Bad night (825)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"

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  (217): what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?" http://tfl.nu/sbqo
  Replies (9) Good night (650) Bad night (1050)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented

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  (386): idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented http://tfl.nu/pmym
  Replies (7) Good night (273) Bad night (456)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.

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  (720): I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks. http://tfl.nu/u2av
  Replies (3) Good night (600) Bad night (246)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN

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  (321): In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN http://tfl.nu/dhlf
  Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (311)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me

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  (425): I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me http://tfl.nu/ceiy
  Replies (8) Good night (282) Bad night (811)

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