did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike