I'm lost and stupid without you.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Watching her eat just hurts me
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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