Texts From Last Night

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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I can tuck mytits in my pants

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  (573): I can tuck mytits in my pants http://tfl.nu/5g26
  Replies (27) Good night (535) Bad night (2684)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.

  (425): View more from Washington

  'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas

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  (425): Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor. (425): 'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas http://tfl.nu/4u1g
  Replies (9) Good night (1975) Bad night (586)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.

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  (416): He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French. http://tfl.nu/rqrw
  Replies (81) Good night (1084) Bad night (5859)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??

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  (520): just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon?? http://tfl.nu/c1fp
  Replies (33) Good night (10757) Bad night (1126)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.

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  (517): he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there. http://tfl.nu/pbyg
  Replies (14) Good night (6228) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life

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  (949): Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life http://tfl.nu/meh0
  Replies (12) Good night (4142) Bad night (1002)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid

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  (716): He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid http://tfl.nu/btyl
  Replies (22) Good night (4690) Bad night (2198)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme

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  (662): looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme http://tfl.nu/w8jn
  Replies (16) Good night (3826) Bad night (1656)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.

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  (610): Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card. http://tfl.nu/uepf
  Replies (12) Good night (4536) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep

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  (412): It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep http://tfl.nu/wopt
  Replies (3) Good night (941) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins

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  (518): Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins http://tfl.nu/i33q
  Replies (7) Good night (3035) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?

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  (612): I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/y0ry
  Replies (2) Good night (1000) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?

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  (913): Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk? http://tfl.nu/ufjz
  Replies (6) Good night (940) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice

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  (607): I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice http://tfl.nu/kf5f
  Replies (1) Good night (496) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.

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  (208): Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering. http://tfl.nu/ya1u
  Replies (5) Good night (885) Bad night (412)

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