My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
