physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
