I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
