She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Randomize
