Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
