Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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