no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
