the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize