I love black thongs
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize