Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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