They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
