whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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