I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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