If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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