I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
