lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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