Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
