well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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