C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
