guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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