So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
