I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
