Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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