He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
