He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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