in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
