i think i have two assholes
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
