what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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