we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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