He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
