Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
