Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
