Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
