I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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