party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
