I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
