So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
