Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
