Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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