if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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