I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
