so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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