Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
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It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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