OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
