So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
