I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
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Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
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I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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