im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
