we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Randomize