Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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