Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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