my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
