we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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