goodnight i made you a song goodbye
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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