its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Boobs are out for the taking
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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