He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
