lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
