Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
