i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
