Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
