fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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