the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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