Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
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