but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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