apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
