he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
