i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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