The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
