We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
