I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
