my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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