I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
