Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
