Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
