Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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