I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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